Even The Bravest Have Fears
The sea is usually calm after a storm and before a storm. How ironic! I for one fear the calm. You get used to the calm and get engrossed in the beauty. You forget the battle you fought with storm to survive.
And then hits another storm, you are drowning, struggling to keep up, you try to remember the battles you fought and how difficult they were. You try and remember each move but all you can think about is the Calm and beautiful sea.
When we received the diagnosis of Cerebral Palsy, a storm struck. We battled with each gushing force of wind and stood our ground. We held on to faith and we kept breathing even under water and we survived. 2 years of therapy and lots and lots of practice later we reached a stage where Kyra was only a few months delayed developmentally.
We reached a calm where therapies were not a fight anymore and where we knew everything related to therapies. Kyra knew what to expect and started enjoying therapies. Life was good. Life was manageable and we could breathe out of water. We felt alive in a very long time and felt like we can do this. Almost like the battle is done and we are survivors.
But No! Calm is not good. We were hit with news that Kyra’s vision in one eye is deteriorating fast and it could diminish entirely, its called Ambylopia, treatment is patching the good eye for few hrs and waiting to see if the body responds. And now we are drowning again, we are struggling again. We do not know anything about this new thing and all the new therapies that its adding. We are again back to researching for hrs and making sure Kyra gets best of everything.
I am trying to remember how I fought with Cerebral Palsy few years ago and all I can think of is how beautiful few moments of calm were.
We are fighting and we will overcome this as well, just because we know how beautiful it is on the other side. We are warriors and that hasn’t changed, but no shame admitting that we are struggling to keep our heads above water. No shame admitting that I am still here crying my eyes out and drowning myself in chocolates finding some comfort.
“Even the bravest of Creatures have some fears,
But it is not enough to stop them from Moving
in the path they are destined to Walk UPON.”